I Love My Mother, (Mother’s Day Special)
- My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
‘If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning. - My mother taught me RELIGION.
‘You better pray that will come out of the carpet.’ - My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL .
‘If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!’ - My mother taught me LOGIC.
‘Because I said so, that’s why.’ - My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .
‘If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me.’ - My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
‘Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.’ - My mother taught me IRONY
‘Keep crying, a and I’ll give you something to cry about.’ - My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
‘Shut your mouth and eat your supper.’ - My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM .
‘Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?’ - My mother taught me about STAMINA.
‘You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.’ - My mother taught me about WEATHER.
‘This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.’ - My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
‘If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!’ - My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE .
‘I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.’ - My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
‘Stop acting like your father!’ - My mother taught me about ENVY.
‘There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do.’ - My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
‘Just wait until we get home.’ - My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
‘You are going to get it when you get home!’ - My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
‘If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.’ - My mother taught me ESP.
‘Put your sweater on; don’t you think I know when you are cold?’ - My mother taught me HUMOR.
‘When that lawn mower cuts off your foot, don’t come running to me.’ - My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
‘If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.’ - My mother taught me GENETICS.
‘You’re just like your father.’ - My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
‘Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?’ - My mother taught me WISDOM.
‘When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.’ - And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE
‘One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you.’
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